I have dated many men in my life that have given me many moments of heartbreak but they have also showed me many romantic gestures that still give me hope. I was nineteen or twenty at the time and I met a guy through one of my best friends. She was dating a guy and she thought his roommate and I would hit it off. We did and actually liked each other a lot.
His name, as most of his friends called him, was Shaka. He was from California and loved to surf. I don’t remember to this day why he was in Utah but maybe it was for me to see what it feels to be truly loved and care about by a man even for a brief time. There was a night where we were all at the house where the guys lived and there was a group of guys who had made a ruckus with the guys before decided that tonight was the night to start something rough. Those guys tried to make their way into the house. The guys of the house protected us and eventually the other guys left. I don’t exactly remember what happened but I do remember when Shaka and I were alone.
He had his face in his hands and I knew something was up. I sat down next to him and asked him what was wrong. He said he was scared that I would get hurt. His eyes were welling with tears and it touched my heart. That was the first time I had ever encountered someone who I liked a lot that was scared for me because he cared. I held him in my arms and knew this is what it should feel like, genuine warmth.
A few weeks later, he ended up moving back to California. I didn’t want him to leave but I knew that our time wasn’t going to last long. I appreciate the time with him to this day because it was my first glimpse of romance. It meant so much to me that moment of him opening up and telling me he was scared of my well-being and didn’t want anything bad to happen to me. It is something that has always stuck with me and I look back at it in knowing what I deserve: to be loved and protected.
Love is to be nurtured, protected, and respected, and entered into with a clear mind and a sound heart. ~Denene Millner
